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Yesterday was National Rare Disease Day and as usual, I’m late! So I have come out of hiding I to bring some awareness and share with you what is currently happening with my ⚔️ with Myasthenia Gravis. MG is a rare incurable chronic autoimmune neuromuscular disorder that is characterized by fluctuating weakness of the voluntary muscle groups. MG is under diagnosed and the prevalence of people who have it may be even higher. ??. I have always associated my own MG with a block of Ice. When I think of ice, it is clear as glass. Frozen. What happens to be caught inside the Ice is not moving. That would be me. I seem to be caught in the past. I’m caught in time. I can’t move forward. But this past week of February 18, I started my first 4 days of IVIG treatments to manage symptoms. These treatments are the cracks that you can see in my block of Ice. With these cracks I can finally let the healing into my body. ??. (Immunoglobulin is part of the blood’s plasma. It has antibodies in it to fight germs or disease. When people donate blood, this part can be separated out. Then it can be given through a vein in my arm, or IV. This can help strengthen my immune system so I can fight infections and stay healthy. ). ??. This treatment may last 1 week or 6 weeks. So it is a waiting game for now till I learn how my body reacts to it. I will put up some mini movies in my stories and IGTV to show you how that particular week went. ??. A BIG Thank-you to all the Blood donors out there who’s blood has given me and many others another chance to kick life in the “behind” and to be able to start to “living” again! . Model: @vdokter ?: countrycashmere.stories ? Ice: @unsplash . . . . . #werble #werbleapp #awesome_surreal #creativegrammer #createmood #editgrams #manipulationclan #imaginativeuniverse #digitallyart
I have been struggling with self confidence pretty much my whole life - and lately I’ve noticed that I tend to guilt trip myself - A LOT. The other day, I found this quote from President Russell M. Nelson’s talk “Perfection is Pending” from 1995 general conference and it reminded me that I shouldn’t do that. Let me explain: When I see a flaw that I have or something that I THINK is a flaw (usually comparing myself to others), I tend to make a mountain out of a molehill and say things like, “why can’t I be better? I should know this! I’m just the worst...” Now, I’m definitely not even good at this yet, but I’ve learned - with the help of some friends - that whatever I THINK completely affects the rest of my life. If I guilt trip myself, always put myself down, and say that I can’t do it, then I’m not going to do it. But if I get up and I take a look in the mirror and say, “no, you’re not perfect, but you can do this, and one day, you’ll prove them all wrong! Never give up. Never surrender!” We need to remember to slow down a little, look at the evidence of who we are and what we CAN do and what we can become. We need to also remember that every single great person that there’s ever been started out as nothing more than what we are now. If they can do it, why not us? {Harry Potter}. Remember to smile and know that it will all work out. You are capable of ANYTHING you set your mind to, even if everyone else says otherwise. And when you’re stuck and think you just can’t take another step, remember that you’re not the first one to feel that and you won’t be the last. #changeispossible #itsinyou #believelovedo
____________ ?​ ?​?​?​?​ ?​?​?​? . I look at you, I can see the real you. Every inch of you makes me proud. You’re the sun during my storm, my heart beats so loud. When I see your face, I feel the darkness melt. This hand has been dealt, never leave me behind. . You alone, yeah you alone, you can break this wall down. The doors now open, Thank you for all you’ve shown I cant exist without you, I need you here. I don’t feel without you, I need you here. . Shadows grow inside my mind, I can feel them destroying me. Can you hold me deep within your shining light I feel nothing, at times, barely alive. When your next to me the demons capsize Into hiding they go Never let me go. . You alone, yeah you alone, you can break this wall down. The doors now open, Thank you for all you’ve shown I cant exist without you, I need you here. I don’t feel without you, I need you here. . Can you make me whole this time, I want to feel you tonight Shun what hatred I have, we were meant to be You keep me grounded, never let me fade Lie to me, keep me safe , your my angel. Never let me go. . You alone, yeah you alone, you can break this wall down. The doors now open, Thank you for all you’ve shown I don’t exist without you, I need you here I don’t feel without you, I need you here. . #music #lyrics #song #lyricwriting #songwriting #femalesongwriter #femalewriter #likeforlike #producer #metal #rock #darkart #darkmusic
Unpopular opinion: the saying “if you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way to get it” is crazy making. . I’m a natural born dreamer.  I can picture my future so freaking vividly it’s scary sometimes.  I can feel what it’s like to wear the specific clothes that I want, drive the car I want, have the energy I want, basically you name it and I’ve thought about it in way too much detail.  However, when I sit down to figure out how to get there, I see the work that needs to be done and say “oh f*ck this” and go binge watch greys anatomy. . This led to people telling me “well you must not want your dreams bad enough” and I believed them.  I thought my vision for my life was a lie because I wasn’t willing to put in the work for it.  This demotivated me more than anything ever has, and is what sent me to counseling for the first time. Over the last 9 months I learned that this just wasn’t true. . I’m not a natural born hustler.  It’s not innate in my character to “just figure it out.” My brain just isn’t wired that way.  So if this is you, I feel you on such a deep level, because I spent so much time thinking I didn’t want my dreams bad enough if I wasn’t doing “whatever it took” to get there. . Here’s where I draw the line though: this isn’t an excuse.  I believe hustling is a skillset you HAVE TO learn.  I still can’t sit down and game plan how to get my dream job, and when I try I end up yelling at Meredith for pushing away Derek in the beginning of the show even though I’ve seen it 100 times.  But I CAN sit down and game plan what I can do on a Sunday to get my dream job.  I CAN put a cheap alarm clock radio in the living room to force me to get up earlier.  I CAN do my work outside of my apartment so I can’t turn on the TV.  And I CAN block out those voices that tell me I don’t want my dream bad enough.  All of these small things will compound, and I WILL achieve my dreams. . NO ONE gets to tell you how big you can dream, and NO ONE can tell you that you don’t want your dreams bad enough.  But at the same time, NO ONE can accomplish your dreams for you other than you ⭐️ #mentalhealthmonday #healthymindhealthylife . . . . . ?: @collenemccarterphoto
Hi there ?... I’m Haley! I wanted to take a little time to introduce myself and show my face on this account (because i often don’t.) This is me, no filters, no makeup, pretty much how you will find me everyday with some sweats on. I am currently finishing up my Masters in clinical psychology with a focus on counseling. My hope is to work with others who’ve experienced trauma, who feel stuck and are unaware of their past issues. I have 2 boys 6 and 4, who I love but can drive me nuts (I’m pretty sure every parent can attest). • • I have suffered from depression in the past and have not ever really been publicly open about it (or at least on social media). Back in 2010 I was in inpatient for self-harm and abused alcohol. I was so completely stuck and felt alone. I never really felt happy with who i was. I was always so concerned what others were thinking of me. I was born with a birthmark on my face and always felt Inferior to others. I can remember kids growing up asking if i had ice-cream on my face, or girls in high school being openly rude about it as if they were somehow better. I took everything personally and played a victim role in each and everyday I could. • • This experience I look at it as a blessing, and would never go back to change a thing. All my experiences in my life are apart of who I am today, so I appreciate each lesson within the journey. Yes, and that doesn’t mean in the moment did I feel great but looking back now I can appreciate it. And I think it’s hard to view it this way when you are in the thick of it. But I can say we all go through struggles, we will all have hard times, but at the end of day we are still here and it will be OK. • • In my life I felt different then other and I’m sure many can relate. I was too emotional, i defies normal logic, and i can be sort of a smart ass. The past several years i have felt more like myself than I ever had in my ENTIRE life, I am at peace with who I am. I am happy with where I am, and where I am going. I am many things that encompass and make me who I am today and honestly constantly keep evolving. • • Finish reading below in the comment section ⬇️
A N X I E T Y ✖️ it’s no joke. ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ Suffering from severe anxiety is no. freaking. joke. As most of my friends + family can tell you, I’m constantly “joking” about my OCD, panic attacks + nail biting, but it’s really no joke. It’s something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t stressed or worried about something. Some have said I was just, “born with it,” it’s how I’m wired. I’ve spent my entire life being fed different (what most people would feel) comforting lines, such as, “let go + let God,” or “everything’s going to be okay,” or “stop worrying so much, you’re doing this to yourself.” Anyone else??? ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ If you’ve dealt with anxiety, I’m sure you can back me up here - IT’S NOT THAT EASY. I’m a strong believer in the fact that we can definitely control a lot with our minds. There are different comforting tactics + ways to “talk to ourselves” in hopes of eventually snapping out of whatever panic attack, breakdown, etc. moment we’re having. ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ I could go on + on for days about this topic, but really I’m just here to share some tips for those of you that deal with the same disorder I’ve dealt with for as long as I can remember. One day I’ll write an entire blog post on it. ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ My go-to tactics:⁣ Deep breaths - inhale for 7, hold for 3, release for 5. ⁣ Taking a mental health day to yourself. ⁣ Reading.⁣ BATHS (my personal go to). ⁣ Trying to live more in the moment vs. in the next. ⁣ Journaling - writing down your thoughts + feelings + analyzing what is causing you the stress/anxiety. ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ Hoping this helps a lil with those of you who deal with this on a daily basis. It’s a real struggle + it’s something I know so many others are dealing with. We’re all dealing with our own battles that none of us have absolutely any clue about. Try to be a decent human being + take a step back before pointing fingers or putting someone down. ⁣ -xoxo love u guys. be a good human + lend a hand when u can. ? hope everyone’s having a happy week!!! ⁣ ⁣
I came across a courage initiative #imperfectishuman and I saw it as a sign for me to get back on the sharing wagon! I find it very difficult to be imperfect as I struggle a lot with perfectionism so it really does take a lot of courage to share how I feel - at the same time though, it’s human nature to feel like this, some more than others maybe and imperfection = connection so it’s the only way to heal - to hide shame creates more shame and to speak and share shame releases it each time. Even though it can be very hard, I already feel better for taking the step again to share. For me, the thought of being misunderstood can be almost unbearable, I don’t want to be seen as someone I’m not to the point where I can even get angry inside at other people for not understanding - that is my own fear overtaking and I can end up blaming others by complaining and judging. If I go to say something in which I often feel like I’m rambling and like it’s all coming out wrong, I can immediately start apologising for myself like ‘sorry I’m rambling’ and I’ll say ‘I don’t know what I’m talking about’ - I can also feel the need to explain myself because I worry what others think ahhhh ? haha YAWN it can get exhausting. Then comes the reminder to be kind to myself, because what counts is what I think of me and to understand myself - I can then choose to focus on how far I’ve come already and not how far I have yet to go - what counts is that I keep going, no matter what pace I go. It’s about changing these thought patterns and changing my perspective - it’s all learning ? p.s. in the photos I’ve shown the process of me writing what I wanted to say, the first one being the final one. #courage #share #shame #perfectionism #fear #dontworrywhatothersthink #worry #learning #trusttheprocess #selfkindness #imperfect #imperfection #perfectlyimperfect #selflove #keepgoing #yougotthis #wellbeing #anxiety #anxietywarrior #wereinthistogether #feelings #speakyourtruth #healing #expressyourself #youmatter #iamenough #connection #understanding #knowyourself
⭐️ BIRTH STORY PART 5 ⭐️ DAY 4 Continued... “YES!!! Let’s go check” he says. I’m in the bathroom and I can definitely tell that I haven’t just peed myself my waters are definitely broken and this is definitely happening, my baby girl is on her way! Now please all join us is laughter but I swear there is teeny tiny hairs in the amniotic fluid and Andy is insisting that we need to have midwife check this? ? So we do... she looks disgusted and amused all at the same time “Sure it’s not yours?” She says to Andy as a joke (He’s bald). All the midwives are cheering us on now, We did it, we are finally moving on to the labour ward, with our own room and comfier chair for Andy and it will be the room in which together, hand in hand, we will welcome our daughter into the world. Surely the fuckery is over now right? They remove the balloon and start me an IV drip of petocin. I don’t think the contractions can get any worst, but petocin doesn’t play and it shows me who’s boss! I make it 7 hours that night before I realise that I can’t breath through the weaker contractions any more, I can barely lift my head, I give in... “Please, can I have an epidural”. DAY 5: Epidurals are magic, I wish there were words to explain the relief it gives me. But I slept on night 4 and I’m feeling stronger. I’m waiting for my cervix check and I’m glad that I won’t feel it much. Andy wakes up and doesn’t look right himself “I feel sick” he says to our midwife.. “Quick, run to the bathroom, I’m not cleaning up after you too!” She says. It’s clear when he gets back that he has sickness and diarrhoea... Apologetically, the midwives tell him that he can’t be on the ward as it’s too dangerous for the midwives and the babies. I can’t believe it but Andy is going to miss the birth of our daughter. 10 years and he’s going to miss it. I feel for him and I almost feel for me but not really, I feel fierce and I feel ready to get our daughter here safely. She is the centre of my focus and I don’t have the energy to think of anything else. Swipe for snap of him leaving the labour ward, with my weird toe hanging out and all. ??‍♀️
“Adversity can distort truth, but it can also crystallized truth.” ___ The past couple of months we’ve been through some tough challenges that have tested our faith and core values. From deep rejection, to financial challenges, to false promises...we’ve been shaken to our core. ___ I have to admit that there were moments when I questioned if we were supposed to stay and fight or simply quit. The interesting thing about challenges is that, challenges reveal what we truly believe. ___ Challenges have the capacity to expose our deepest fears or to crystallize the core of our beliefs. Challenges can become a stumbling block or a stepping stone. They can make us bitter or better. So, instead of avoiding those challenges, I choose to welcome them. ___ Challenges are an opportunity to grow. They present to us with the chance to learn to walk in peace by finding contentment in the midst of them. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control how I respond. ___ The crazy part is that although during those challenges I have questioned my commitment and love for LA; in a mysterious way they have deepen my love for it. Today I declare...I LOVE LOS ANGELES, more. No matter what comes my way. This is my city. This is my home. These are my people. ___ Adversities can’t break. Challenges can’t stop me. Pain will not confuse me. ___ I will love this city. I will fight for my people. I will stand and overcome adversity. ___ So, here we go. Excited for new beginnings!
Hey Jen, ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ "You are a catalyst. You naturally know how to turn ideas into action, and you make things happen. Your energy can be contagious and engaging."⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Now…Imagine how much more positive, uplifting and helpful THAT verbiage is than what I’d been hearing ALL my life…. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ "You’re too impulsive!! Slow Down! Just have a minute’s patience!! You can’t do THAT!?!? I Can’t do that!! Did you even think that through” ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ The chip on my shoulder wants you to know: No, I’m a CATALYST…..I like to go fast when I’ve calculated the risks…I can’t wait to get started…Oh yes I CAN do that!!! Yes YOU can too...And actually…YES, I DID think it through my other talents are highly strategic!! ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I am happiest when I am in action….now, admittedly, sometimes you CAN have too much of a good thing…. (Remember that time I had 5 jobs??). But as you refine your natural talents into Strengths, you unlock an amazing treasure trove of possibility!! ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ And yes, I can always manage to spritz a little ‘kick in the pants fairy dust’ into conversations and help people get EXCITED about their life and plans!! ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Wanna come hang with me and find out how to Activate YOUR Strengths!??!! ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Stay tuned…⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ #activateyourstrengthsamplifyyourlife⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀